Improve Confidence - Top Tips To Help You Be More Confident In Yourself

Appearances can be deceptive! Sometimes you meet someone who exudes confidence; they seem to be able to handle anything, any body and any situation that life throws at them. But how many people are really genuinely confident about themselves and their abilities? Sometimes all you need to do is scratch the surface and you find that inside, even the most confident person on the outside can be filled with self doubt. So what can you do to improve your confidence?

I hear it all the time from friends, family, colleagues and clients; "people think I'm confident, but...". Very often people who portray outward confidence have what I call "blagging" confidence only. For example a young person that I know well seems to have all the confidence in the world, and yet will avoid simple things like making a trip on a bus in case he doesn't see the bus stop in time.

Others, often successful business people or academics who function well in the world have an inner doubt about their abilities often writing off their achievements as "flukes", or in their mind secretly believing that if their colleagues find out what they are really like that they would not be tolerated and expelled.

In psychotherapeutic terms, this self doubt is known as egotism. It manifests itself in the individual who instead of feeling satisfaction at a job well done, or pride in an achievement, goes over and over it, analysing everything to death. This eats away at their own confidence until they perceive themselves as the fraud, the fluker, the hardened exterior filled with jelly.

So how can you improve confidence levels? Well here are some tips to help you start to be more confident in yourself and become confident in your abilities and stop worrying about being rumbled as a fraud.

1. Gather evidence - often the negative view of ourself comes from a belief that we treat as a fact. So you can become more confident in yourself by gathering evidence which challenges the negative schema. This can take the form of a diary, a list of bullet points or just paying attention to the reality of what is happening around you. So take a little time and think of all the things that you have achieved in a period of time - you can start with small wins like "I got the kids to school on time" and work up to recognising that all of the things you achieve in your life, simply cannot be down to pure luck and will start to help to improve your confidence.


2. Match, mirror and model - Think of the most confident person you know. Think about not what they say, but how they look, how they stand, how they walk. Then decide to spend a period of time - (you can start with just a minute if you like) behaving "as if" you really are that confident. Build up the time and the frequency where you play this improved confidence game, and in time you will actually be more confident.


3. Become confident in small chunks - you wouldn't be able to eat a whole elephant in one sitting, and likewise you do not have to improve your confidence to mega levels in just one day! Start looking for small opportunities and wins to be more confident and get into the habit of feeling genuinely confident. So for example, if someone asks if you would like to join them for lunch at 12 noon, why not try saying that you'd love to do that, but they make the time 12.05 as you want to make sure you can be there on time and not keep them waiting?

Of course not all of these things will work for everyone, but it is worth giving them some thought and giving them a try - after all, what have you got to lose apart from self-doubt?

If you have any questions or would like to find out more about how to improve confidence [http://www.daventryhypnotherapy.co.uk] with hypnotherapy please check out the FAQ's page on my website or feel free to contact me for an informal chat.

I have also provided a free to listen sample relaxation session designed to help you to improve confidence [http://www.daventryhypnotherapy.co.uk] which is also available on my website.

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